Sweet Surrender

I had the honour of taking a few classes with Kelly Morris at Wanderlust, VT last spring. A (pardon my french!) no-bullshit Buddhist teacher, she spoke to us about the importance of setting intentions for our practice, and always sending them out to someone in need. I always had a problem with this, because if I was doing yoga FOR myself, why would I want to set my practice to someone else? I had trouble connecting with it, and began to feel selfish, always taking this powerful practice and keeping it for myself. If I would try and reach it out to someone, but it would always come back to me during meditation and savasana - based on what I needed or how I felt.

This week, I found out some disheartening news about the family of a dear friend and teacher of mine before stepping into a class. My heart immediately shattered into pieces, and I was unsure about how I was going to get through this class without crying, and was partly tempted to just go home and feel the pain. But, taking what Kelly taught me, I walked into the class, rolled out my mat, and set my intention for my friend. All during class, I truly FELT my practice. I worked harder and gave it my all - rather then just doing it. I felt each warrior two extend from my fingertips out to my friend and his family. I felt the divine lift something from me, and send it miles away to a family in need. I felt connected with myself, my practice and the individuals I set in my intention.


During meditation, an image of my friend came to me. A man who gives so much of himself, was now the center of my thoughts. As I meditated on this image, I realized it was the image of him meditating back to me. I focused on him, on his love, on his life, and sat with it. It was one of those moments where I felt so connected, and when it was time to open my eyes, I felt a true shift in my mind, body, soul and where my energy was being placed.

Sure, we can all have a yoga practice and a seated practice, but when we see it come to life, and can feel it from out of our bodies, that's a wild experience - an experience some of us strive to achieve. The rest of the week, my morning sadhana and evening classes were set for my friend. I moved so willingly and effortlessly. When I taught, I was so present and aware of the students I was teaching that I REALLY listened to their bodies. Every word I said had a purpose. There was an evening class where my teacher had us extend our arms to the sky, and send the OM's out, where my tears came down so naturally, knowing my love was being sent across the country, into a hospital, where it was needed.

It's not easy to take the practice off the mat, but this week, my practice has shifted. My perspective has shifted. I learned to let go. To surrender. To be.

Blessings,
M

PS: As a side note, my darling friend flew back to NYC this weekend for our training. When I told him about my experience, he assured me that he felt the love, the OM's and the energy. We are all connected. Always remember that. Regardless of what you believe - sending the cosmic love from your soul gets to those you send it to. They feel it. They embrace it. They know. Trust me. XO.

Rollercoastin'

One of my homework assignments for teacher training this week was to write about our spiritual rollercoaster. I remember as soon as we were told this assignment, my classmate, L, let out his signature "WOAH" sound. And wow, was that response relative for the journey I was about to share with my classmates.

Thinking about my past with my spirituality, I have had many ups and downs. Right now I am on the high, but truly afraid of what I will find once I reach the top.

In high school, I was a part of a beautiful youth group that helped me accept my adolescent years. After graduating college, I helped lead the same youth group for many years and attended and helped lead religious retreats. It was as soon as I moved into the city, that I discovered my yoga practice, I began to let go of the religion I was raised on. I tried to find a connection with the Catholic church again, but losing my grandfather, my ultimate teacher, pushed me away from the church, rather then take me in. I felt hurt and abandoned.
In grieving this death, I began to roll my mat out everyday, and have my own personal moving prayer with God as I danced through these shapes and poses. I have had more eye-opening experiences with the divine during meditation or in pigeon pose, then I have ever had in a church. I have opened my body in so many ways that I have found my personal freedom. Opportunities are extended my way, because my body and mind are open and embracing all. I float around in a constant blissful state. I have found the benefits of meditating for 30 minutes every morning at sunrise. I bow to Buddha. Shiva is my OMboy. Ganesh is the reason I am the woman I am today. With all of this learned, I am finding enlightenment.

A few months ago, I came across this interview with my teacher, Dana Flynn. There is a part in here that shook me. That made me cry. That made me realize - I am not the only one who finds God outside of the church. Dana talks about God in a way that makes God more like a friend, then a holy figure. Something I truly admire, and something I hope to achieve, as right now, I still am intimidated by this spirit who gave me a life the included so many hard lessons.



I urge you all to take a few moments and watch this video, watch these movements, and think about your own personal connection with the divine. Who do you bow to? Who is your guru? What is your daily prayer? What has your spiritual rollercoaster looked like? Where do you find God?

Shanti -
M

Let's connect!

I finally have created a little home for myself on facebook at Calm Heart Yoga! Join me there for some Lotus sequencing, wellness tips, yoga insight & inspiration from my heart to yours!

As a pretty side note, teacher training is so blissful and intense. Completely overtook my life and has already changed my life, transformed my practice and helped me find my inner power and voice. Thank you for all your constant love and support, family! I am excited to teach all of you both on and off the mat!

Namaste,
M